Why Me? Why Now?

What to do with disappointment in the midst of manifesting?

I just finished writing (and editing) my first book. It’s THE BOOK. You know? The one I’ve been writing in my imagination since I was ten. The one I’ve had dreams about seeing on the bookshelf with “NY Times Bestseller” stamped on the cover. The one I’m manifesting the shit out of right now, because I KNOW it’s time for the world to read it.

…. the one that just got “passed” by the one agency I was sure would love it.

Every time, since yesterday morning when I sent my query, my email dinged, my heart leapt thinking “this is TKA accepting my proposal!” Even though the website clearly states a 2-3 week turnaround, I just knew I’d hear back sooner. Today, just about 24 hours after I sent my query, the email ding was, in fact, TKA.

…. “unfortunately,” it said.

I was so sure. I had no plan B. Okay, that’s not true. Plan B is to keep trying! But I hadn’t queried anyone else because she was *so perfect* for this piece.

Enter self-doubt. Did my first five pages suck? IS the book as good as I think it is, as good as my readers said? What did I do wrong? Is everything I believe a LIE?

Whoa. Breathe. Ground. Return to your practice, Britt. My gods! It would’ve been a true miracle for the first agent to accept! JK Rowling had thirty-six rejections. I can handle a few, too.

I did what anyone would do in my situation. I meditated and pulled some cards.

“What am I to do with this disappointment?”

Get curious, they said. Breathe, they said. And meditate, trust, and wait for your dreams to come true because that is happening! You’re in the hallway between your old life and the new amazing phase of abundance. Take some time to enjoy it.

Get curious. Of course! So TKA didn’t want to read my book. Their loss. My gain! Now my imagination can run wild! Who will I meet that makes this dream come true? What literary agent will know exactly how to market this book to my top three publishers? How will this manifest?

It’s not about me knowing all the things and ways and stuffs. My “job” is to be authentic, follow my intuition, and trust that the way is destined to appear. It’s happening. How is not my concern.

Meditation makes all the difference, though. My removing obstacles chant is magic! And, remember how I kept thinking I was going to hear back from TKA in record time? I totally did.

I’m ready. This hallway is beautiful, my life is full of love, and my book is damn good. What’s about to happen? Dreams coming true. How? Idk. And that’s kind of fun.

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